- Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
- Marriage is like taking a bath... after you've been in it for a while, it isn't so hot.
- A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife that a fur coat will make her look fat.
- A wise man buys his wife fine china, so she won't trust him to wash it.
- When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "No, one drag is enough.
- My wife is always talking about a trip to Europe. I have no objections - I let her talk
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