- Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
- A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
- Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
- The only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back is a police horse.
- A women was found in her home in her bath tub surrounded by milk with a spoon up her pussy and a banana up her arse. Police suspect a cereal killer.
- Police will arrest a transvestite, and charge him with male fraud.
- A crate load of Viagra has been stolen from a distribution depot - police are looking for hardened criminals.
- A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window... "Pull over!"
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