A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- If a tax man and a lawyer were both drowning and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
- What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas dinner? Toast their clients!
- Taxes: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension.
- The difference between the short and long income tax forms is simple. If you use the short form, the government gets your money. If you use the long form, your accountant gets your money.
- People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die.
- Born free ... taxed to death.
- IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
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